Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
