Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
