remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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