So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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