i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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