there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I love you. Go after that dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
