Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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