You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
