I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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