at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
