no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Is it penis luge time yet?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
