i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
