i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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