just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
