Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
