I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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