He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
