First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
