RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
