Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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