drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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