i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ttyl tear gas
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
