morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I will be naked everywhere
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
