His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
