He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
