If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
