the day after is always just damage control
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
