and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
