kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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