It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
