Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
