if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
