i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
