i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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