You really coming over, don't trick.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
