Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
