Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
