Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
