i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
