We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The air taste purple.
Randomize
