ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
