I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
