im gay
i know
yea but for you.
no, he came in my armpit
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
