is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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