if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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