Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize