Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
