why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
