You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
there is another microwave in the elevator.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
