No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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