so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
