Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
