i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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