11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
