whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
