I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize