Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
