i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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