just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
